My friends, let me give you some straight talk .... if you haven't watched John McCain lately, you should. It's an enlightening experience. My friends, it can be an illuminating experience. Hop aboard the Straight Talk Express and I'll tell you why.
My friends, let me give it to you straight. Some of you may disagree with me, but I have to give it to you straight; John McCain is showing his age. My friends, this may not be a popular thing to say, but he's looking and sounding a bit run down.
By the way, my friends, John McCain is all for saving the Florida everglades. I'm not sure exactly HOW he's going to save them ... perhaps a troop surge .... and I'm sure saving the everglades is a central theme of his campaign because, my friends, we know there's no pandering allowed on the Straight Talk Express ....
My friends, I don't spend a lot of my time watching Republicans play "I'm more like Reagan than you are" or "I'll cut taxes more than you will" or "I'm tougher on terrorism than you are". Let me give it to you straight, my friends, Republicans bore me.
Have you heard the one about ....
Oops, sorry; not sure how that non-sequitur lame joke almost made it in to this diary post. I think I've been channeling John McCain.
Sunday morning my daughter and I were sitting in front of the TV. I'm not a Sunday morning talk show addict, but I was interested in the analysis of the South Carolina results. On my first stop I found Hillary non-answering questions from Bob Schieffer on Face the Nation. My daughter is just 23, but has donated more money to Democratic politicians and causes than I have - despite my 25 year headstart.
I found Hillary's performance to be the epitome of the political "stay on message" performance. She wasn't listening to Schieffer. Her answers had no relevance to the question asked. She took each question as an opportunity to drone on and on and on ..... and on and on .... mouthing her talking points and ignoring the question. You could tell Schieffer was frustrated, but he just let her ramble. My daughter at one point finally remarked, "I don't like listening to her." It wasn't a very impressive appearance.
I hit the jackpot on my next channel flip: John McCain giving a stump speech in Florida. My daughter and I were almost rolling on the floor by the end. Judging by our reactions you would have thought we were watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
John McCain has become an Onion-esque parody of a Presidential candidate with the added punchline of really showing his years. Every other sentence included the phrase "my friends" .... he actually used the "straight talk" line several times as well. In the midst of talking about leadership, terrorism, and war he must have suddenly remembered where he was: Florida. Because out of nowhere he suddenly proclaimed, by the way, I'll save the everglades too.
His disjointed and comedic stump speech even included a lame joke that he just threw in without preamble. It didn't illustrate a point. It wasn't an ice-breaker. No, it was just thrown in in the midst of his various talking points.
Hillary was awful enough to leave a quiet pall in our front room, but McCain changed the entire dynamic. He brought laughter and good cheer. At the end I said, "...and you thought Hillary was bad ..." She just laughed and said, "I know."